Hi Reader
There’s a particular kind of grief that you encounter when life hasn’t unfolded the way you thought it would.
Maybe you thought you’d be in a loving partnership by now — but instead you're navigating a sense of loneliness and longing around being single.
Maybe you strived to build a life that looked good on paper, only to realise it doesn’t feel like yours.
Maybe you did everything “right” — and still wound up somewhere very different to what you'd envisioned and hoped for.
These seasons can bring with them a deep sense of disorientation. A loss of identity, certainty, and direction. And often, a sense of shame — as though the fact that your life hasn’t followed the script must mean you are the problem.
If that’s you, I want to offer you a few gentle reminders:
You are allowed to grieve the life you thought you’d have.
This isn’t about bypassing or spiritualising your way out of pain. It’s about making space for the full spectrum — the sadness, the confusion, the fear, and the uncertainty — and recognising that these emotions are part of being human, not signs of failure.
At the same time, your life is not over just because it took a turn you didn’t expect.
You are in a chapter — one of many — and you still get to shape what comes next.
Every path has trade-offs.
It’s easy to romanticise the road not taken. But every version of life comes with complexity, sacrifice, and loss. When we stop chasing the fantasy of a perfect life and instead ask, What is this chapter offering me?, we begin to reclaim our presence and power.
And from that place, you can reorient.
To your values.
To your desires.
To what matters most to you now — not five years ago, not in someone else’s life, but in this moment.
Sometimes the work is finding the sweet spot between surrender and aligned action — letting go of the rigid picture of how things should be, while still choosing to move with courage in the direction of what you most long for.
To trust the unfolding, even when the path ahead isn’t fully visible.
As always, I'd love to hear from you if this resonates. I read every response, even if I can't get back to each person individually.
Sending you so much love
Steph
PS. If you're in a season of self-doubt, I would love to invite you to my new free training:
This brand new free training is packed with support and insight, including:
- My three-part framework for healing anxious attachment — the same approach I've taught to thousands and experienced myself
- How to know if healing is truly possible for you (and the real reason why you're stuck)
- How to tell the difference between your anxious attachment and genuine relationship misalignment
It’s completely free, and I’ve poured so much heart into creating it. If you’ve been craving clarity and direction on your healing path, I’d love for you to check it out.
